Empower Yourself: Switching from 'Why Me?' to 'What Now?

Recently I have experienced a series of unfortunate events. These events have made me question many things but with the most recent event I realized upon reflecting that my mindset had shifted, I moved from "why me" to "what now?" and that shift made a dramatic difference in my self-empowerment.

You're probably wondering what these mysterious events were, so let's dive right in. Its a bit like a sad country song but I promise there is a light at the end of the tunnel and many lessons learned.

First off we lost our 6 year old dog just before Christmas after trying everything in our power to help her recover from Lyme Disease, she unfortunately lost her battle. It was a devastating loss and extremely emotional. I shared much of our battle on Instagram, hoping to inform others as I had not been informed and felt a bit hopeless when dealing with the dramatic changes that quickly followed her battle. Bella was such an amazing dog, she was a gentle giant, and so well behaved, we never had to worry about a thing with her. She would come when called and was happy to just be with you wherever you were. She was just an all around perfect dog, if you could ever find one. So the loss hit extremely hard and when we had to make the hard decision to let her go, we made sure she was comfortable at home and surrounded by her family. We somehow made our way through the holidays without her, it was a tough one with so many memories and the hurt so fresh, but we got through it. I often wondered during her battle "why her", why did she have to be the one to suffer when she had nothing but a heart of gold. Not knowing at the time I was victimizing her, which I would later work through and realize there is no answer to that question, it was her time and I simply had to accept that. We made it to the new year and professed that this was going to be a fresh start, but life had some other plans (as it always does).

A month to the day after we lost Bella, while staying over in Toronto for a series of meetings my Jeep was stolen. I had locked it up the night prior, gone into the hotel only to walk out the next morning and realize it was no longer there. I would later find out that it was stolen at around midnight and that the entire thing would take no longer than 7 minutes from beginning to end (believe me this could be a whole blog post on its own). The interesting part was I naturally went into problem solving mode, I was in Toronto by myself, my husband was at work and I had to figure out what to do next. I called the police and reported it stolen, I asked the hotel to pull any camera footage that they could find, and called insurance to begin a claim and get a car rental to get home. I cancelled my meetings and made my leadership at work aware of what had occurred. Luckily insurance was quick to react and within a couple of hours I was in a rental car and on my way back home. What was truly fascinating during this situation was I didn't once ask "why me", I did what was required to move forward. I very easily could have fallen into a victim mindset and this is not to say if someone else has been in this situation and hasn't handled it the same way that your reaction is wrong. It is an invasive experience and it can be traumatizing, especially if you had a connection to your vehicle as I did mine.

What I learned upon reflection later was that I switched my mindset from "why me" to "what now" and by doing so, I felt more empowered. I am a problem solver by nature, I want to fix things and do what is required to get them back to a state of being somewhat in my control, but I also realized that my sphere of control was limited. There was nothing I could do to change the situation, but to simply move forward. Now its a bit of a waiting game, don't get me wrong, and it has tested my patience more times than I care to admit, but it also left me realizing that we have a choice and when it comes to mindset that is everything. I had a choice to feel like a victim or to alter my way of thinking to adjust it to do the next right thing and that is what I chose, and in doing so I set myself free.

You see, you'll never be able to answer "why me", and it instead puts you in.a place of living in the past instead of looking towards the future. I can choose to be traumatized by this event or I can get back on the proverbial bike and ride again after falling off. As luck would have it, I would do just that a week to the day afterward the theft occurred. I was scheduled to attend a conference back in Toronto, only about a half hour away from where this took place. This time I put measures in place (enter in Faraday pouches and boxes - if you know you know, if not reach out and I will explain), I shared my experience with others to make them aware, and I didn't cower away from driving or parking the vehicle (granted it is still a rental). I simply went on with what I needed to do. I was later talking to my husband about if I would always question if my vehicle would be where I left it, and whats interesting was he said "only if you choose to let it, will it" and it got me thinking back to this whole situation, its all a shift in mindset. I will not play victim that this will happen to me again, I will be smart about protecting myself and it will most definitely affect my purchases in the future- I guess I may no longer be a Jeep Girl but I will not do it as a victim but instead do it looking forward on what do I need to do next. This mindset shift has made a ton of difference to me, it has empowered the way I think and the actions I take instead of being fearful. There are many lessons we can learn from what life throws at us and often times I believe that is exactly why we are put into the situations we are, to learn from it and perhaps pivot. From this latest lesson I learned I am a heck of a lot stronger than I give myself credit for and won't just fall apart when life gives me lemons but instead make lemonade and do the next right thing.

With this I encourage you to take a look at how often you may hear yourself asking "why me" and try on "what now" instead and see if it makes an impact on how you see situations that occur. I think you'll find that life simply isn't just happening to you but instead for you. I think you, like me will feel more empowered and instead will find your way forward instead of living in the past.

As always I wish you love and light,

Leah